Today's poems [7.9.08]
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There once was a man named Sweenie,
who spilled some gin on his weenie.
So just to be couth,
he spilled some vermouth.
And then slipped his girl a Martini.
There was a sad prude out in Iowa
Who would say, "Please say it my way:
Do not say fuck,
It don't rhyme with duck.
Say untcay and itshay and uckfay."
There was a young lady of Arden,
Who s----d off a man in a garden.
He said, "My dear Flo,
Where does that stuff go?"
And she said, "(swallow hard)-- I beg pardon?"
There was a young girl of Claridge's
Who said, "What a strange thing marriage is,
When you stop to think
That I've poured down the sink
Five abortions and fifty miscarriages!"
There was a young lady named Alice,
Who used dynamite for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And part of her asshole in Dallas.
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