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Today's poems [7.8.08]

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There was a young man from Rangoon
Whose farts could be heard to the moon.
When you'd least expect 'em,
They'd burst from his rectum
With the force of a raging typhoon.

1. 




My Very First Time



                        The sky was dark
                        The moon was high
                        All alone just she and I
                        Her hair was soft
                        Her eyes were blue
                        I knew just what
                        She wanted to do
                        Her skin so soft
                        Her legs so fine
                        I ran my fingers
                        Down her spine
                        I didn't know how
                        But I tried my best
                        I started by placing
                        My hands on her breast
                        I remember my fear
                        My fast beating heart
                        But slowly she spread
                        Her legs apart
                        And when I did it
                        I felt no shame
                        All at once
                        The white stuff came
                        At last it's finished
                        It's all over now
                        My first time ever
                        At milking a cow.....



2. 




Redneck family tree

     Many many years ago
     when I was twenty three,
     I got married to a widow
     who was pretty as could be.

     This widow had a grown-up daughter
     Who had hair of red.
     My father fell in love with her,
     And soon the two were wed.

     This made my dad my son-in-law
     And changed my very life.
     My daughter was my mother,
     For she was my father's wife.

     To complicate the matters worse,
     Although it brought me joy,
     I soon became the father
     Of a bouncing baby boy.

     My little baby then became
     A brother-in-law to dad.
     And so became my uncle,
     Though it made me very sad.

     For if he was my uncle,
     Then that also made him brother
     To the widow's grown-up daughter
     Who, of course, was my step-mother.

     Father's wife then had a son,
     Who kept them on the run.
     And he became my grandson,
     For he was my daughter's son.

     My wife is now my mother's mother
     And it makes me blue.
     Because, although she is my wife,
     She's my grandmother too.

     If my wife is my grandmother,
     Then I am her grandchild.
     And every time I think of it,
     It simply drives me wild.

     For now I have become
     The strangest case you ever saw.
     As the husband of my grandmother,
      I am my own grandpa!

3. 




                    A beautiful lady named Psyche
                            
                    Is loved by a fellow named Ikey.
                            One thing about Ike
                            The lady can't like
                            
                    Is his prick, which is dreadfully spikey.
                            


4. 




It Hurts
             I'm sure you can't imagine
             it's as simple as can be
             the place is very private
             the players are he and she

             She whispers softly it will hurt
             of course not he replied
             It's just a simple proscess
             lay back and close your eyes

             She say's I'm rather frightned
             I've never done this before
             He wanted to continue
             it won't hurt much more

             It's getting rather painfull
             as tears come to her eyes
             it's hurting something awful
             it must be quite a size

             Calm yourself my darling
             the pleasure refolds your sin
             Now open slightly
             so I can fit more in

             Suddenly with a jerk
             she gave a shout
             Now that it's all over with
             He slowly pulled it out

             *Now if you read this carefully
              you will find
              it's not what you think
              it's just your dirty mind

              It is just a visit to the dentist!!!

              Sent by Tamara

5. 



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