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Today's poems [7.7.08]

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Many many years ago when I was twenty three, 
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. 
This widow had a grown-up daughter 
Who had hair of red. 
My father fell in love with her, 
And soon the two were wed. 

This made my dad my son-in-law 
And changed my very life. 
My daughter was my mother, 
For she was my father's wife. 

To complicate the matters worse, 
Although it brought me joy, 
I soon became the father 
Of a bouncing baby boy. 

My little baby then became 
A brother-in-law to dad. 
And so became my uncle, 
Though it made me very sad. 

For if he was my uncle, 
Then that also made him brother 
To the widow's grown-up daughter 
Who, of course, was my step-mother. 

Father's wife then had a son, 
Who kept them on the run. 
And he became my grandson, 
For he was my daughter's son. 

My wife is now my mother's mother 
And it makes me blue. 
Because, although she is my wife, 
She's my grandmother too. 

If my wife is my grandmother, 
Then I am her grandchild. 
And every time I think of it, 
It simply drives me wild. 

For now I have become 
The strangest case you ever saw. 
As the husband of my grandmother, 
I am my own grandpa! 

1. 




A gay prison chaplain named Locke
Had a passion for hard convict cock.
For his ass-holey ways
In his alcatraz days,
He was nicknamed the piece of the rock. 

2. 




Make My Boobies One More Size

 ~~~~Biggie Spears


  Oh booby booby
  Oh booby booby

  Oh booby booby
  My chest was supposed to grow
  My cleavage wasn't right yeah
  Oh boobies boobies
  My breasts are completely full
  And now my sweater's tight yeah
  Surgery
  I wanna be a size "d"
  Bigger memories
  I want them to show
  Now oh because

 Chorus:
 My chest flatness was killing me
 And i
 I must confess
 I paid for these
 (paid for these)
 I look 32
 I'm just a child
 I am a crime
 Make my boobies one more size

 Oh baby baby
 I got double D's it's true
 Now you've all been blinded
 Oh pretty boobies
 Your so big and oh so new
 That's just the way I planned it

 Golly
 Rolling Stone was naughty
 See me baby
 Barely wearing clothes
 Now oh because
  
 Chorus:
 My chest flatness was killing me
 And i
 I must confess
 I paid for these
 (paid for these)
 I look 32
 I'm just a child
 I am a crime
 Make my boobies one more size

3. 




               A musician who lives in Bangkok 
               Has fiddle strings tied to his cock. 
                    When he gets an erection, 
                    He plays a selection 
               From Johan Sebastian Bach. 

4. 




There was an old sheik named Al Hassid 
Whose tool had become very placid. 
Before each injection 
To get an erection 
He had to immerse it in acid. 

5. 



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