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Today's poems [7.4.08]

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There was a young fellow named Fritz 
               Who planted a acre of tits. 
                    They came up in the fall, 
                    Pink nipples and all, 
               And he chewed them all up into bits. 


There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid! 


Mary had a little sheep,
And with this sheep
She went to sleep.
The sheep turned out
To be a ram
And Mary had a little lamb!


I met her on the internet and I couldn't keep from staring
She had the coolest font I'd ever seen
She was Microsoft, mathmatical, and IBM compatible
And fireworks exploded on my screen
Well, my cursor started blinking like the beating of my heart
And my modem started singing, thinking this could be the start
Of a Techie Love -- between us
With the latest gadgetry
Techie love can be the sweetest
world wide web we weave

Well I courted her with e-mail and with roses from my clip art
I sent romantic faxes everyday
Though I'm kinda shy to tell, heck, I wrote poems that I spell checked
And I bought her software from Comp USA
We were wonderful together how she made me feel so fine 
And we planned a simple wedding on America On-Line

Chorus: And there was techie love between us.......

Then one day there was lightning and it caused some power surges
And you should have seen the look upon my face
Cause I wasn't surge protected, or backed up like you'd expect, it
blew my files somewhere out to cyberspace
Well now nothing lasts forever, I know even good things pass,
So I knew that it was over on the day the hard drive crashed
Chorus: On the techie love between us.......

She's gone, and it megahertz
It's like a virus, only worse
She's gone, but I can't wait
I'll get a new computer that has windows Y2K

Chorus: And there'll be techie love........

c 1998 Mark Hankins


There was a young man who preferred 
               Having sex with some kind of a bird. 
                    The rarer the species, 
                    And the fuller of feces, 
               The better---that guy really loved turd. 


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