Today's poems [7.31.08]

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He could vary, with proper persuasion,
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasian. 

Alas for a preacher named Hoke, 
            Whose shit was all stuck in his poke. 
                He farted a blast 
                That left hearers aghast, 
            But nothing emerged but some smoke. 

A renowned archaeologist Vern,
Who unearthed an Egyptian clay urn,
Found himself devastated
When the markings, translated,
Clearly read, "No Refill/No Return." 

Bill Clinton's no man of conviction, 
               Avoiding truth is a lifelong affliction. 
                    Mixes lies with the facts, 
                    We can never relax, 
               To him, truth IS stranger than fiction. 

A school marm from old Mississippi
Had a quim that was simply zippy.
The scholars all praised it
Till finally she raised it
To prices befitting a chippy.

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