Today's poems [7.25.08]

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There was an old man of Stamboul
With a varicose vein in his tool.
In attempting to come
Up a little boy's bum
It burst, and he did look a fool.

               The Rajah of Afghanistan 
               Imported a Birmingham can, 
                    Which he set as a throne 
                    On a great Buddha stone--- 
               But he crapped out-of-doors like a man. 

            There once was a young boy named Steven 
            Who noticed his balls were uneven. 
                When he pulled on the right, 
                The left shot out of sight: 
            Not the effect Steve was keen on achievin'. 

Nymphomaniacal Alice 
               Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. 
                    They found her vagina 
                    In North Carolina, 
               And her asshole in Buckingham Palace. 

There was a young lady of Totten
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks,
Or for pastry or cakes,
But lived upon penis *au gratin*.

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