Today's poems [7.23.08]

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                    The ancient orthographer, Chisholm.
                            
                    Caused a lexicographical schism
                            When he asked to know whether
                            "Twere known which was better
                            
                    To use "g" or "j" to spell "jism."
                            
                                              

   THE CREATION OF A VAGINA
   Seven wise men with knowledge so fine
   Created a pussy to their design.
   First was a butcher, smart with wit,
   Using a knife, he gave it a slit.
   Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
   With a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
   Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
   By using red velvet, he lined it within.
   Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
   With a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
   Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
   He threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
   Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee,
   He touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
   Last came a sailor, a dirty little runt,
   He sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt
   


  

There was a girl from the five and ten
Who diddled herself with a fountain pen.
The top came off,
The ink went wild,
And now she's the mother of a coloured child.

               There was a young choirboy from Devon 
               Who was raped in a haystack by seven 
                    High Anglican priests--- 
                    (Lascivious beasts)--- 
               For of such is the kingdom of heaven 

A pretty young gal from Hong Kong
Said "I think you are utterly wrong
To say my vagina's
the largest in China
Just because of your mean little dong!"

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