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Today's poems [7.22.08]

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There once was a gal named Lewinsky
   Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
   'Twas "Hail to the Chief"
   on this flute made of beef
   that stole the front page from Kaczynski.


  

1. 




A stingy old man of St. Giles 
               Saved his shillings with miserly wiles. 
                    Just to save a few bob 
                    He would wipe with a cob, 
               And that way he got piles and piles! 

2. 




A corpulent lady named Kroll
Had an idea exceedingly droll:
She went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
And backed in as a Parker House roll.

3. 





            Have you heard of the Widow O'Riley 
            Who esteemed her late husband so highly 
                That in spite of the scandal, 
                Her umbrella handle 
            Was made of his membrum virile. 

4. 




A golfer named Sandy MacFarr 
               Went to bed with a Hollywood star 
                    When he first saw her gash he 
                    Cried, "Quick, goot muh mashie! 
               Uh thunk uh c'n muk it in par." 

5. 



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