Today's poems [7.14.08]
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There was a young girl named Anheuser
Who said that no man could surprise her.
But Pabst took a chance,
Found Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser.
Once was a tattooist named Clarke
Whose urge to render was stark.
He put roses on hogs
and bare-shaven dogs
And nudes on drunks in the park.
There once was a man named MacBride
Who fell in a privy and died.
He had a young brother,
Who fell in another,
And now they're interred (in turd) side by side.
There was a young girl of La Plata
Who was widely renowned as a farter.
Her deafening reports
At the Argentine sports
Made her much in demand as a starter.
Said a lesbian lady, "It's sad;
Of all of the girls that I've had,
None gave me the thrill
Of real rapture until
I learned how to be a tribade."
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