Today's poems [7.11.08]

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There was a young lady of Michigan, 
                                        Who said, "Damn it! I've got the itch again." 
                                                      Said her mother, "That's strange, 
                                                      I'm surprised it ain't mange, 
                                        If you've slept with that son-of-a-bitch again." 

The Beer Prayer 

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against 
us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and 
the lager.

Barmen


Sent by aftab

There once was a pious young priest
Who lived almost wholly on yest
"For", he said, "It's plain,
We must all rise again,
And I want to get started at least"

There was a young lady named Clair
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or at least so I thought,
Till I saw one get caught
On a thorn, and began losing air.

There was a young man named O'Rourke,
Heard babies were brought by the stork,
    So he went to the zoo
    And attempted to screw
One old bird -- end-result: didn't work.

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