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Today's jokes [7.8.08]

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A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash.
She sits down at the bar next to a drunk. The drunk rolls
around, leans over, and splat! He pukes all over the dog. The
drunk looks down, sees the little dog struggling in the pool of
vomit, and slurs, "I don't remember eating that!"

1. 




What's the difference between mayonaise and sperm?
Mayonaise doesn't hit the back of a girls throat at 40 mph.

2. 




   There was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was
   driving when a
   police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and
   says "Did you
   know you were speeding back there." The lady (who is almost deaf) said
   to her husband
   "What did he say, what did he say?" The man turns to his wife and said
   "He said I was
   speeding." The officer then said "Where are you from?" The man replied
   "Chicago" The
   wife then says "What did he say, what did he say?" The man turns to
   his wife and said,
   "He wanted to know where we came from." The officer then said "Shit,
   you know, I had
   my worst fuck ever in Chicago." The lady then says "What did he say,
   what did he say?"
   The man turns back and says "He says he thinks he knows you."
   


3. 




If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that 
there is an exception to every rule.
If we accept "For every rule there is an exception" as a rule, then we 
must concede that there may not be an exception after all, since the rule 
states that there is always the possibility of exception, and if we follow 
it to its logical end we must agree that there can be an exception to
the rule that for every rule there is an exception. 

4. 




Australia.
Where men are real men
And sheep are scared shitless

And where the term 'Going Down Under' means something entirely different



5. 



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