Today's jokes [7.7.08]
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A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely
three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.
After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's
"I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,"
said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all."
"Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs
apart and close your eyes," said the midget.
The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest
thing she'd ever experienced inside her.
Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times.
"If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "Just
wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"
This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a
sign "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he thinks. "How in
the world does that fit in here?"
So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting
in the corner. The visitor asks, "How in the world did this place
get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?"
The old man answers "Is name of owner."
The visitor asks "Well, who is the owner?"
"I am he," answers the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
The old man replies, "Many years ago when I come to this country, I
was standing in line at Documentation Center. Man in front of me
was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, "What your name?" He
say, " Hans Olaffsen." She look at me say, "What your name?" I say,
I was shopping at our local supermarket.
When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde ahead of
As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the bagger asked her,
"Paper or plastic?"
"It doesn't matter," she replied, "I'm bisacksual."
If the NSA made toasters...
Your toaster would have a secret trap door that only the
NSA could access in case they needed to get at your toast
for reasons of national security.
Cop coming upon a young couple making out....
Cop: What the hell are you two doing?
Boy: We're necking.
Cop: Well stick your neck back in your pants and get out of here.
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