Today's jokes [7.3.08]

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A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years.
They had the following conversation: 
Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water.
Woman: Ok. 
Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water.
Woman: Ok. 
Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with three glasses of water.
After giving these instructions to the woman, she asks, "Can you tell me 
what's wrong with me Dr.?
Dr.: Yeah. You do not drink enough water.

Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Boy: Good, cause I didn't do my homework!

Q: WHY ARE BLONDES SO EASY TO GET INTO BED?
            A: Who cares?

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once
Upon A Time?"
And he replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin 
with 'If Elected I promise...'"

David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to
show him a trick. 
"I will", replies a guy in the audience, "but I'm going to need your wife 
Claudia and a table." 
"Ok", says David and the guy gets on stage.
He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down her knickers and starts
fucking her from behind. David is now very pissed off and says, 
"That isn't a trick!!!"
The guy just looks at David Copperfield and replies,
"I know, it's fucking magic."

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