Today's jokes [7.28.08]
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Forty years later, they're in the same hotel room they spent their
honeymoon in. She takes off her clothes, lies down on the bed,
spreads her legs...
Her husband looks at her and he begins to weep uncontrollably.
She says, "What's the matter?"
He says, "Forty years ago, I couldn't wait to eat it, and now, NOW..."
"Now?" she asks.
"Now, it looks like it can't wait to eat ME!"
Patient: (to cosmetic-surgeon) 'Will it hurt, doctor?
Surgeon: 'Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown'.
Arnold Swartzeneger and Sylvester Stallone are making a
movie about the lives of the great composers.
Stallone says "I want to be Mozart."
Swartzeneger says: "In that case... I'll be Bach."
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome,
a good lover and a stimulating partner?
A. In the pages of a romance novel.
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