Today's stories [6.27.08]

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Illinois State University - As a woman was crossing the stage to accept 
her diploma at a commencement ceremony, something unusual and tragic 
happened. The woman's grandfather fell over, suffering from a heart 
attack. A few minutes later as she was leaving the platform, her 
grandmother had one as well. Consequently, the student notified
reporters that she will not be seeking her master's degree.

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.

Old Simpson was a constant thorn in the side of the Parent-Teachers
Association, with his steadfast opposition to innovation. For one
thing, he was vociferously against the introduction of foreign
languages in the town's junior high school curriculum.
Waving his Bible high in the air, he shouted, "If English was good
enough for the prophets and the apostles, it's plenty good enough
for me." 

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