Today's stories [6.21.08]
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Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
hour east of Bakersfield, blonde new to boating was having aproblem.
No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new
22-ft Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it
was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a
nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong. A thorough
topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The
engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the
correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat,
still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
Allen was in a store that was playing Steve Miller's "Jet Liner".
He said there was some kid next to him that had the lyrics
completely screwed up and was singing, "Big Old Rat Had A
Light On . . ."
A medieval Jewish astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite
mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later.
The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had
brought about the woman's death. He summoned the astrologer and commanded
him: "Prophecy, tell me when you will die!"
The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him
immediately, no matter what answer he gave. "I do not know when I will
die," he answered finally. "I only know that whenever I die, the king will
die three days later."
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