Today's stories [6.12.08]

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[Associated Press,Kincaid, W. VA] A man at a
   party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit
   down, triggering an explosion that blew off his
   lips, teeth and tongue, state police said
   Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the
   blasting cap as a prank during a party late
   Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man
   had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and
   was trying to explode it," Payne said. "It
   wouldn't go off and this guy said, "I'll show you
   how to set it off." "He put it in his mouth and
   bit down. It blew all his teeth off, his tongue
   and his lips," Payne said. Stromyer was listed in
   guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial
   injuries, according to a spokesman at Charleston
   Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine
   anyone doing something like that," Payne said.

Last winter I was laid up at home with the flu. My fiancee' called and 
volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to me. I 
declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. "Okay honey", she told 
me, "Will wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the rest ofour 
lives making each other sick!"

Seen on the back of a food service delivery van:

Driver does not
carry more than $50
worth of lasagna

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