Today's stories [6.11.08]
Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.
Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In
a sleepy grumpy voice I said hello. The party on the other end of the
line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a lengthy
"Mom, this is Susan and I'm sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because
I'm going to be a little late getting home. See, Dad's car has a flat but
it's not my fault. Honest! I don't know what happened. The tire just went
flat while we were inside the theater. Please don't be mad, okay?"
Since I don't have any daughters, I knew the person had misdialed.
"I'm sorry dear," I replied, "but you've reached the wrong number. I don't
have a daughter named Susan."
"Gosh, Mom, "came the young woman's voice, "I didn't think you'd be this
My brother snores soo loud. Recently we went out west for
vacation, and he didn't snore at all...except the first night we
were there. It got to be so bad that I took my pillow, sheet, and
blanket and went into the bathroom to sleep. I put my stuff in
the bathtub, shut the door, and fell asleep in the tub. Me, being
the sound sleeper that I am, didn't hear the door open when my
brother had to use the toilet. Seeing me fast asleep in the
bathtub, he turned the water on. I slept right through the whole
thing until morning, when my sheet and blanket were soaked by
lukewarm water. I thought I wet the bed until my brother
confessed a few days later.
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this
creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into
the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm
is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the
whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I
sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment.
He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant
smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his
artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28