Today's quotes [6.23.08] Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe. -- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time. - A Wolverine is Eating My Leg
Carl Zwanzig - "Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...."
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post. -- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island
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