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Today's poems [6.8.08]

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There was a young cowboy named Gary 
               Who was morbidly anxious to marry, 
                    But he found the defection 
                    Of any erection 
               A difficuly factor to parry. 


I'm sure you can imagine 
As plain as can be 
The place is Piccadilly 
The players He and She.

She whispered "will it hurt me?" 
"Of course not" answered he 
"It's a very simple process, 
You can rely on me." 

She said "I'm very frightened, 
I've not had this before. 
My friend has had it five times 
And said it can be sore". 

Then finally contended 
Lay back and relax a bit 
Quickly and readily he bent over her 
And then he started it. 

It was growing rather painful 
Tears formed in her eyes 
It was hurting quite a bit now 
It must have been quite a size. 

"Calm yourself" he whispered 
His face was filled with a grin 
"Try and open a bit wider 
So I can get it in". 

"It's coming now" he whispered 
"I know" she cried in bliss 
Feeling it deep within her now 
She said "I am glad I am having this". 

And with a final effort 
She gave a frightened shout 
He gripped it in anguish 
And quickly pulled it out. 

She lay back quite contended 
Sighed and gave a smile 
She said "I'm glad I came now 
You made it worth my while". 

Now if you read this carefully 
The dentist you will find 
Is not what you imagined 
It's just your dirty mind! 


There was a young man of Newminster Court 
            Bugger'd a pig, but his prick was too short. 
                Said the hog, "It's not nice, 
                But pray take my advice: 
            Make tracks, or by the police you'll be caught."


A morbid young lady named Jean 
               Was known as the Masochist Queen. 
                    She used thistles and cacti 
                    In pursuit of her practi, 
               In a manner both odd and obscene. 


Write in C  --  by Beatles
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."

As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.

If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.


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