Today's poems [6.7.08]

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In the begging there were two leaves

one covered Adam's and one covered Eve's

then one day those leaves blew away

then in the wind Adam's thing started to sway

then in amazement as he stood there

he noticed Eve's treasure all covered with hair

then to Eve's wondering eyes 

Adam's thing started to rise

so they went at it and at it for days on end

its amazing how many ways people can bend

Sent by Bubba

BURN, SUBURBS, BURN

Burn rubber baby suburb baby, burn!
The gluttonous gluteus maximus
No new tax for us
Deep fat fry, suburb blubber baby-butt, cry
Whip the whimp, the baby-boomer gloom-and-doomer
Baby bought the fiscal fiasco
Baby brought the strategy tragedy
So sue God for the Damnages

Dr. Seuss's Technical Manual



 What If Dr. Seuss Did Technical Writing?

 Here's an easy game to play.
 Here's an easy thing to say:

 If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
 And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
 And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
 Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

 If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
 And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
 And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
 Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

 You can't say this?
 What a shame sir!
 We'll find you
 Another game sir.

 If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
 Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
 But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
 That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

 And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
 So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
 Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

 When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
 And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
 Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
 Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

There once was a girl named McGoffin 
            Who was diddled amazingly often. 
                She was rogered by scores 
                Who'd been turned down by whores, 
            And was finally screwed in her coffin. 

A virgin felt urged in Toulouse 
               Till she thought she would try sef-abuse. 
                    In search of a hard on 
                    She ran out in the garden, 
               And was had by a statue of Zeus. 

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