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Today's poems [6.6.08]

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There once was a guy named Dave,
Who dug up a whore from a grave.
She was moldy and shitty,
And only had one titty
But look at the money he saved!

1. 




There was a young girl from Seattle 
            Who got her kicks sucking off cattle, 
                'til a bull from the South 
                Popped a load in her mouth 
            That made both her ovaries rattle. 

2. 




A sweet young strip-dancer named Jane
Wore five inches of thin cellophane.
When asked why she wore it,
She said, "I abhor it,
But my cunt juice would spatter like rain."

3. 




There was a young lady called Valerie
Who started to count every calory
Said her boss in disgust:
"If you lose half your bust
You'll be worth only half of your salary!"

4. 




There was a young lady of fashion 
            Who had oodles and oodles of passion. 
                To her lover she said, 
                As they climbed into bed, 
            "Here's one thing the bastards can't ration!"

5. 



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