Today's poems [6.25.08]

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            There was a young man from Vancouver 
            Whose existence had lost its prime mover. 
                But its loss he supplied 
                With a piece of bull's hide, 
            Two pairs, and the bag from the Hoover. 

A young Ph.D. passing by, 
               She gave him the problem to try. 
                    He worked the division 
                    With perfect precision, 
               And the answer was B-A-B-Y. 

Said an old taxidermist in Burrell, 
               As he skillfully mounted a squirrel, 
                    "This excess of tail is 
                    Obstructive to phallus; 
               One's much better off with a girl." 

                    For the prick-naming prize of Pinole
                            
                    This year's winner was Daniel O'Dole.
                            He will tell you with bonhommie,
                            "I call mine 'Metonymy,'
                            
                    Because it's a part for the whole."
                            

My wife is an amorous soul 
            On fire for an African's pole. 
                She told a coon chauffeur 
                That he was her gopher--- 
            And, say, did he go for her hole! 

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