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Today's poems [6.16.08]

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The bustard's a fortuitous fowl, 
               Who has but small reason to growl. 
                    He avoids illigitemacy 
                    By the simple expediency 
               Of the use of an alternate vowel. 

1. 




I'LL KEEP YOUR CLOTHES

At first when we were dating
You would bring a rose
And as a ritual of mating
Leave behind some clothes

It seemed a cute formality
it put me in love's throws
It had a wondrous quality
"Yeah!  I'll keep your clothes."

You'd leave sexy underwear
The type that made you strut and pose
You'd toss them in my corner chair
I teased, "I'll keep your clothes"

Then there came some rainy washes
and some days of heavy snows
You'd leave raincoats and galoshes
I said, "Sure.  I'll keep your clothes"

Add T-shirts with a beer slogan
or an alien head that glows
or a samurai from Shogun
I said, "OK...I'll keep your clothes"

I left you little notes
"Hey, my closet overflows"
"I've boxed up all my coats!"
But, still, I keep your clothes

One day you showed up with a wagon
And a couple of cheap ho's
You said, "Baby, I'm baggin'"
I said, "Oh, yeah?  I'll keep your 
clothes"

You really blew your stack
You said, "Hey!  This really blows!
What are you?  On crack?"
I just said, "I'll keep your clothes"

You cried, "What am I to wear?"
I said, "Who cares?  Who knows?
You've been a sorry ass affair.
At least I'll keep your clothes"

The underwear so fine
I'll hold for other joes
The jeans that are now mine
They'll fit.  I'll keep your clothes.

The shirts that look like bags
The socks with ripped up toes
I'll use them up as rags
What fun to keep your clothes!

So, be nice to your ex-girlfriends
Watch where you put your nose
And be kind when the love ends
Or else, we'll keep your clothes

From the book:  THE LOVE POEMS OF THE 
FEMINIST FROM THE DARKSIDE by Fembah
Copyright 2000

2. 




Ode to a Mammogram



For years and years they told me,  "Be careful of your breasts."
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, and give them monthly tests.

So, I heeded all their warnings.....and protected them by law....
Guarded them very carefully, and always wore a bra.

After 10 years of careful care, the doctor found a lump.
He ordered up a mammogram to look inside that clump.

"Stand up very close," the nurse said, as she got my tit in line,
"And tell me when it hurts," she said.  "Ah, yes....that's just fine."

She stepped upon a pedal....I could not believe my eyes,
A plastic plate was pressing down....My boob was in a vice....

My skin was stretched and stretched from way up by my chin,
And my poor tit was being squashed to Swedish pancake thing......

Excruciating pain I felt, within it's vice-like grip,
A prisoner in this vicious thing.....My poor defenseless tit......

"Take a deep breath"  she said to me.  Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is smashed in her machine, I can't breathe and woozy I am getting!

"There, that was good" I heard her say, as the room was slowly swaying.
"Now let's get the other one."........"Lord have mercy," I was praying.

It squeezed me from the up and down, it squeezed me from both sides,
I'll bet she never has this done to HER tender little hide.

If I had no problem when I first came in, I surely have one now......
If there had been a cyst in there, it would have popped Ker-Pow!

This machine was made by a MAN, of this I have no doubt.....
I'd like to get his balls in there.....for months he'd go WITHOUT!



3. 




Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says i love you
You belive its true
but when your tummy starts to swell,
he says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
a baby without a name
the baby is a bastard
the mother is a whore
this never wouldn't have happened
if the rubber wouldn't have torn.

Sent by Robert

4. 




                               Do Re Mi Drink
     
   
DOUGH... the stuff that buys me beer
RAY..... the guy that sells me beer
ME...... the one who drinks the beer
FAR..... a long run to get beer
SO...... I'll have another beer
LA...... I'll have another beer
TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer
That will bring us back to DOUGH
  


5. 



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