Today's jokes [6.8.08]
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A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go's
on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells,
"There's a horses ass"
A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary
Clinton came on he said the same, "There's a horses ASS..."
He then got punched again.. So he says to the bartender, "What is this, a
Clinton country?" The bartender says "no, Horse country"
Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A: Make a tire and call it a good year.
A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the dessert. After a few
days the camel falls
over dead. After looking over the situation the priest figures neither
one of them will
survive the rest of the journey.
The priest asks the nun "I have never seen a woman's breasts, and at
this point it probably
wouldn't matter much, so could I see yours?" The nun agrees and shows
him her breasts.
"May I touch them?" The nun allows him to. The priest comments
wonderful they are. The nun then asks "Father, I have never seen a
man's penis before,
could you show me yours? The priest drops his drawers.
"May I touch it?" After she fondles his penis for a minute he sports a
huge erection. The
priest says, "you know if I place my penis in the proper place it can
give life!" "Is that
right" the nun replies?
"Yes," says the priest.
So the nun said: "Then why don't you stick it up that camels ass and
lets get the hell out of
Q: How can you tell a blonde has been working on the
A: There is white out on the screen
Back in the '70s, days of conspicuous (ahem) consumption, Hugh Hefner was
showing a friend around the Playboy Mansion. At one point, Hefner turned
to his friend, and said, "Did you ever hear this joke? A woman receives
flowers from her boyfriend. She turns to her friend, and says, `Oh, great.
Now I'll have to spend the whole weekend with my legs in the air.' `Why?'
says her friend. `Don't you have a vase?'"
They laugh, and then Hefner opens a door with a flourish. Inside, women
are reclining on couches, naked as jaybirds, with flowers protruding from
their vaginas. Hefner and his friend have another laugh and are flirting
with the girls when suddenly, from the next room, there is a bloodcurdling
"What was that?" starts Hefner's friend.
"Oh, probably just the umbrella stand..."
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