Today's jokes [6.3.08]

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At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking 
at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No." 

A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?" 

"I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I 
laughed at your dick' cards?" 

A nun is walking down a deserted road when a man grabs her and starts 
raping her. After the rapist is done, he says, "Hey Sister, what are you 
going to tell the other Sisters now?"
"I'll tell them the truth, that you grabbed me, threw me to the ground, 
and raped me twice....unless you're tired." she responded. 

Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and 
scared. He goes into his mother's room for comfort and he sees his mom 
standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing her chest and 
groaning, "I want a man, I want a man." Shaking his head in bewilderment, 
Gregory takes off to bed. Next night the same thing happens. On the third 
night, Gregory wakes up and goes into his mom's room but this time there 
is a man in bed with his mom.
Gregory hoofs back to his room and whips off his pajamas, rubs his chest 
and groans " I want a bike, I want a bike." 

   Billy-Joe and Betty-Sue get married, and Billy-Joe whisks her away to
   his daddy's hunting cabin in the woods, for a romantic 'nature
   honeymoon'...
   
   He carries her across the threshold, and they get into bed, when
   Betty-Sue whispers in his ear "Billy-Joe, be gentle, I ain never been
   with a man b'fore."
   
   "WHAT???" shouts Billy-Joe, and his little bride softly shakes her
   head...
   
   Billy-Joe jumps out of bed, grabs his clothes, and races out the door,
   into his truck.... down the mountain.... straight to his parents
   house... rushes inside screaming "Hey Daddy!, Paw! Git'up!" .....
   
   His father rushes downstairs and gasps... "Billy-Joe, what'r you doin
   here?"
   
   Billy-Joe, still breathing hard from his mad flight, gasps "Well,
   Betty-Sue an I was in the' cabin, and she toll' me she ain't never
   been with a man' afore.... so's I rushed outta there, an' lit back
   here... quick as I could!"
   
   His father grasps Billy-Joe's shoulder in reassurance, and says "SON,
   Ya done the right thing.... Iffin she ain't good'nuff fer her family,
   she shure as shit ain't good'nuff fer ours!!"
   

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one 
day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a 
change.

"I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," 
he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up."

Nine hands went up.

"Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man.

"Too much trouble," came the reply.

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