Today's jokes [6.24.08]

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Do you know what a Yankee is?

Same as a quickie, except you're by yourself 

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in- 
law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke 
to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted 
on them both trying to find her mother.

The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and 
started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they 
came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up 
against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood 
facing her.

The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"

"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into 
this mess, let him get himself out of it."

What do you get when you cross a Jehova's Witness
with a Hell's Angels motorcycle gang member????

Someone who comes to your door and tells *you* to fuck off! 

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Some cows view each day as the last roundup,
others, merely as another opportunity to stampede.
Most cows view the new day as an exciting new opportunity
to eat grass and point in the same direction as the other cows.

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