Today's jokes [6.23.08]
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Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the
inspection. The first one
says:"I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand." St. Peter
says:"You see the bowl
of holy water, wash your hand and go in." The second says:"I have to
confess, I held
mans penis in both hands." St. Peter:"Wash both your hands and go in.
other two start fighting, something terrible. St.Peter goes there,
pulls them apart, asks
*What's going on? One of them shouts I want to gargle, before she
washes her ass in
Question: What do you call a gay man's scrotum?
Answer: Mud flaps!
My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday.
How is she now ?
She's fine. But, the dog died.
A couple married forty years were revisiting the same places
they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded
countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running
along the road.
The woman said, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did
here forty years ago."
The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence, and
he immediately jumped her bones like a bass on a junebug. They
made love like never before.
Back in the car, the guy says, "Darlin', you sure never moved
like that forty years ago--or any time since that I can remember!"
The woman says, "Forty years ago that goddamn fence wasn't electrified!"
One day the zoo-keeper noticed that "Cheech" the orang-utang was reading
two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's
keeper or my keeper's brother."
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