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Today's jokes [6.22.08]

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Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight.
After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink

The President asked for a whisky & soda, which was brought and placed
before him.  The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like
The minister replied in disgust, "Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped by
a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!"

The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,
"I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a choice..."


There were three women sitting in a bar and they were discussing
how much their husbands could get up their crotch. 
The first women said, "My husband can get his whole hand up me". 
The second lady said, "My husband can get his whole head up me". 
The third lady slid down the bar stool. 


   A young couple from the country honeymooned at a really fancy
   ocean-side resort. because they knew it would be expensive, they had
   planned to limit their stay to just the weekend, but were just unable
   to leave, enjoying themselves and each other so much, and extended
   their stay another day. Upon checking out, the desk clerk said,
   "That'll be an additional $150 apiece."
   "Good God man !!!" cried the groom, totally shocked, "That's two
   thousand two-hundred and fifty dollars !!! Are you crazy ???"


What's red and invisible? 

No tomatoes.


Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers once a month?

     Because it says right on the box "good for up to 20 pounds." 


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