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Today's jokes [6.12.08]

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Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, "Hey Dad! What are 
you doin?" His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank." Johnny says, 
"Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The 
milkman filled her this morning."



1. 




An elephant was having a horrible time in the jungle because a horsefly
kept biting near her tail and there was nothing she could do about it.
It was far out of reach.

A sparrow saw this and killed the horsefly with its beak.
"Oh, thank you!" said the elephant.
"My, pleasure ma'am." said the sparrow.
"Listen, Mr. Sparrow, if there's anything I can ever do for you, don't
hesitate to ask."

The sparrow said, "Well, all my life I wondered how it would feel to fuck
an elephant."
"Be my guest!", said the elephant.

So the sparrow flew behind the elephant and started fucking. In the trees
above, a monkey in the tree saw this and became very excited. He started 
to masturbate, shaking a coconut loose and it fell from the tree, hitting 
the elephant on the head.
"OUCH!", said the elephant.

Then sparrow looked over from behind and said, "Am I hurting you, dear?"

2. 




A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when 
his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop. 
He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, "Excuse me,
but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?" The clerk leans 
against the counter and thinks for a while. Finally he says, "Sure...that 
sounds like a fair trade." 

3. 




Whats worse than shit on Olivia Newton Johns face?

Cum on Eileen.

4. 




What did the lawyer name his daughter? 

Sue.



5. 



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