Today's stories [5.7.08]

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STATISTICALLY SPEAKING

Germany was frequently bombing Russia during World War 
II.  Every time the air raid siren sounded, people rushed to 
the nearest air raid bomb shelter.  One person who never 
took shelter was a professor of statistics.  He argued that 
there are seven million people in Russia and the probability 
of a bomb actually dropping on him was very small.  Then 
suddenly one day when the air raid siren was sounded the 
professor rushed to the air raid shelter along with his 
neighbours from the building.
"Lost your nerver professor ?"asked one of his aquaitances.
" NO" said the professor " but I have realized that the bombs 
do not observe the laws of probability.  There were seven 
million people and one elephant in Russia .  Yesterday they 
got the elephant."

Sent by nanditha 

This really happened and was featured on Jay Leno more than 8 years 
ago...The wife of a business man was reading the morning paper while 
her husband was at the office working. She was reading the divorce 
decrees to see if she knew anyone there and was shocked to read her 
own name as well as her husbands name in a divorce decree! When her 
husband came home from work, she was very upset and asked him why 
the paper said that they were getting a divorce. "Nothing to worry 
about dear, must be a friend pulling a joke, I'll find out at the office 
tommorrow"! He assurred her. 

Assuming this was a hoax, she went about her business for the next two 
days, when a summons to appear in Divorce (Federal) Court arrived for 
her! When her husband returned from work that night, she was 
hysterical! "What on earth is going on, who is doing this"? She 
demanded to know. "I promise I will find out tommorrow"! He told her 
again. 

This time she was going to ask her husband right when he got home the 
next day. "So, who was it"? She asked eagerly. "Oh, it was this wierd 
guy from accounting. He thought it would make a funny April Fools joke, 
remember it is April now"! He calmed her with. She was now satisfied 
that her husband loved her and everything was fine. The date for the 
court appearance came and went, as her husband told her to disregard 
it. While cleaning one afternoon, she was startled by a knock at the 
door. It was her judgement for divorce notice, the divorce was final. 
When she assumed her husband told her the truth, she never showed up 
for the hearing, which was real and the husband won by default! He got 
EVERYTHING! 

Sent by Signfeld2002

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a
particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain
was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the
Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen,
welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts
fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the
gate!"

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