Today's stories [5.5.08]

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When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old 
came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.  
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"  I replied, "Yes, honey, remember 
Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, "but what 
is growing in your butt?"

Wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun, a thief burst into the
bank one day.  Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
"FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS,  THIS IS A ****-UP!"  For a moment, 
everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard
completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved
his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't
have drawn and fired before the thief got him.  The would-be
thief ran away and is still at large.

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside 
and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex 
for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for 
virgins to marry.

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