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Today's stories [5.30.08]

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HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS

"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get
the best of you."  (Doug, 7)

"It might help to watch soap operas all day."  (Carin, 9)

1. 




At one job I had, the boss man got the idea that the IT
department should be living up to the slogan, "Giving every
user what they need."

I politely requested, "How do we get them to turn around so
we can kick them in the ass?" It went over quite well, the room
fell out laughing. I don't work there any more.


2. 




A true story.  A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam
for his graduate students.  It had one question:

"Is hell exothermic or endothermic?  Support your answer with a
proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
or some variant.  One student, however wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some
mass.

If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass.  So, at what
rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving?  I
think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it
will not leave.  Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that
exist in the world today.  Some of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell.  Since, there
are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to
hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay
the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay
constant.

So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase
until all hell breaks loose.

Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell
freezes over.

It was not revealed what grade the student got.

Tad Cook
tad@ssc.com



3. 



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