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Today's poems [5.23.08]

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There was a young lady of Bicester
Who was a lot far nicer than her sister.
The sister would giggle
And wiggle and jiggle,
But this one would come when you kissed her. 


George Michael re-releases

Careless Wrister

And I'm never going to wank again,
Guilty nobs have have got no rythm
Though its easy to pretend
I'm standing on a stool.

Should have known better than to wank in bogs,
Stood in shit and covered in jism,
So I'm never gonna wank again,
The way I wanked with you oo ooh.

Bog Tropicana

Let me take you to a place,
Where gays will come upon your face,
If you want them to,
And if you stand upon a bag,

They'll do things that will make you gag,
As you sit upon the loo,
Bog Tropicana sex is free,
Bums and gism, there's enough for everyone,

And if you like cock just like me,
You can meet them, they all want you!

Young Bums (Go for it!)

Hey Sucker!
(Who the hell's been up your flue?)
Hey Fucker!
(Where's the nearest public loo?)

Well I hadn't seen your arse around town, a while
So I greeted you, with a knowing smile
When I saw that chap upon your lap
I knew he'd taken your length, bent over the taps

I said: "Big boy, what's with the frown!"
I said: "Big boy, you better take my cum down."
And in return, I gladly heard you say,
"Fuck me George, I wanna play."

Young Bums
Having some fun,
Crazy Bikers take 'em on the run
Wise Bi's realize, when they see my jiz dripping down your thighs

Whip me, sting me like a bee
No tears, just cheers, and beastiality
One Two, on your cock I wanna chew,
Death by masturbation!

Hey Sucker!

.....and so on, and so on....


                    There was a young fellow named Louvies
                    Who tickled his girl in the boovies,
                            And as she contorted,
                            He looked down and snorted,
                    "My prick wants to get in your movies!"


A Redneck's Ode to Valentines Day!

Kudzu is green,
my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
A-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
And without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
Which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
But I luv you anyway.

You're as graceful as okry
Jist a-dancin' in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop
Right out of the can.

You have all yore teeth,
For which I am proud;
I hold my head high
When we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
When you shave yore armpits,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
I'm plumb outta wits.

And speakin' of wits,
You've got plenty fer shore.
'Cuz you married me
Back in '74.

Still them fellers at work
They all want to know,
What I did to deserve
Such a purty, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
Yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles
And stick 'em in the can.

Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler
Racin' through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger
Named Naomi Judd.

When you hold me real tight
Like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
Like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years,
Yore age, it keeps hidin'.

And when you get old
Like a '67 Chevy,
Won't put you on blocks
And let grass grow up heavy.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
With a RC cold drank,
We go together
Like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
For Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
It's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
On that special day
From the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
From a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
They explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
These will not do.
For you are too special,
You sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
Without taste nor odor,
Better than diamonds
it's a new trollin' motor.


There was a young man named McFee
Who was stung in the balls by a bee.
He made oodles of money
By oozing pure honey
Every time he attempted to pee.


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