Today's poems [5.22.08]

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There once was a man of Sag Harbor 
            Who used to go with a fag barber. 
                He gave some auditions 
                In many positions, 
            And now he plays flute with Jan Garber. 

There was a young lady from France
Who got on a bus in a trance
Everyone f*cked her
Apart from the Conductor
But he came twice in his pants

A sempstress at Epping-on-Tyne 
            Used to peddle her tail down the line. 
                She first got a crown, 
                But her prices went down--- 
            Now she'll fit you for ten pence or nine. 

The sexual life of the camel
Is weirder than anyone thinks.
One night in an orgy of passion
It tried to bugger the sphinx.
But the sphinx's posterior passage
Was blocked by the sands of the Nile
Which accounts for the hump on the camel
And the sphinx's inscrutable smile.

There was a young maiden of Siam
Who said to her lover, young Kiam,
"If you kiss me, of course,
You will have to use force,-
But god knows you are stronger that I am."

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