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Today's poems [5.20.08]

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Once a pirate named Yates 
            Danced the jig for all of his mates. 
                He slipped in his cutlas, 
                And made himself nutless, 
            And now he's quite useless on dates. 

1. 




As His Holiness signed my petition 
               He said,"I take this position: 
                    Here shines a clean mind, 
                    For nowhere can I find 
               A single lubricious omission!" 

2. 




               There once was a man named Mort 
               Whose dick was incredibly short 
                    He climbed into bed 
                    And his lady friend said, 
               "That's not a dick, it's a wart. 

3. 




Stuffing the turkey at Christmas
Reminded me of you
The melons in the market
The pears and peaches too
Cracking open Christmas nuts
Brought memories of your gentle touch
But all the while it hurt so much
'cos I'm still in love with you...


Copyright: D. Harvey 1998.

4. 




There was a young fellow named Bowen 
            Whose pecker kept growin' and growin'. 
                It grew so tremendous, 
                So long and so pendulous, 
            'Twas no good for fuckin'---just showin'. 

5. 



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