Today's jokes [5.5.08]
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There were three little boys visiting their grandparents.
The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, "Can you make a sound
like a frog, Grandpappy?
Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, "No, I don't really
want to make the sound of a frog now."
So, the second little boy comes out and asks his grandfather, "Will
you please make a sound like a frog?"
Grandpa again says, "No, not now. I don't really want to do that.
I'm in a grumpy mood. Maybe later."
Then the third little boy comes out and says, "Grandpa, oh please...
Please, please will you make a sound like a frog?"
"Why do all of you boys want me to make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa
The little boy replied with a hopeful face, "Well, Mom said that when
you croak we get to go to Disney World!"
A well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical during
intermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body.
She smiled and gushed, "Well, hello there Doc." and kept right on going.
After a moment's pause, the good doctor looked at his wife and said, "Don't worry dear, that's just a young lady I know
Without missing a beat, his wife asked, "Hers or Yours ?"
Q: What's the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
Two Scotsmen met 25 years after their last get-together. They hugged and
slapped each others back and tears formed in their eyes as they renewed
their old friendship.
"Let's have a drink like we did in the old days," the first Scot
winked at his mate.
"Aye," his mate replied. "And don't forget it's your shout."
A couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn't
have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided tojust go back
to their new apartment after the wedding.
The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing
practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other a ordinary guy,
and the third a dentist.
They all decided to pull practical jokes on their newly married
friends. The carpenter decided he would cut the slats in the bed
so that when they climbed into bed, the bed would collapse. The
ordinary guy decided to short sheet the bed, so that when they got
into it their feet wouldn't reach the bottom. The dentist chuckled
and wouldn't tell anyone what he planned to do.
A week later the 3 friends all received letters in the mail. "Dear
friends, we didn't mind the fact that when we got into bed, the
bed collapsed, or the guy that short sheeted it, but I'm gonna kill
the bastard that put the novacaine in the vaseline!"
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