Today's jokes [5.3.08]

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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at
the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts
all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over
them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and
asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards
signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for
a soldier and propositioned him. 
The Salvation Army gent said, "Ma'am, you may be forgiven, 
as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you 
familiar with the concept of 'original sin'?"
The hooker replied, "Well, maybe and maybe not. But if
it's "really" original, it'll cost you an extra $20."

What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick? 

    Fucks funny! 

Whats the difference between a regular toad and a horney toad?

A regular toad croaks "Ribbit Ribbit" while a horney toad croaks "Rub-it
Rub-it"

   A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up
   your things. I just won the California lottery!"
   
   Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
   
   The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the
   house by noon!"
   

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