Today's jokes [5.26.08]
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A young girl goes to the gynecologist and he examines her.
He says,"You have acute vaginitis."
She says "Thank you."
A woman got a problem with her closet door - it was felling every time a
bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and
sees that indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes by.
"OK, I am gonna see what is going on, just close the door behind me" and
he stepps into the closet. At that time the husband comes from work,
opens the closet and finds the repairman.
Husband: "What the hell are you doing here!"
Repairman:"Well, you are not going to believe it, but I am waiting for a
Sent by Ser
A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to an extremely gorgeous woman.
The first thing he notices about her though, are her pants. They were
skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism (zipper, buttons or
velcro) for opening them.
After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over her
hips, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her.
"Excuse me miss, but how do you get into your pants?"
"Well," she replied, "you can start by buying me a drink."
Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the loaf
of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket.
Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, "This is a good
opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny."
He walks up to Little Johnny and says, "I see Little Johnny that
you have the Staff of Life in one hand. What do you have in the
Little Johnny replies, "A loaf of bread Father."
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I cannot accept,
And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people
I had to kill today because they pissed me off.
And, help me to be careful
Of the toes I step on today as they
May be connected to the ass
That I might have to kiss tomorrow.
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