Today's jokes [5.25.08]
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Little Johnny was in class again.Teacher asked everyone "Can anyone
tell me a sentence
with the word definitely in it?" Meg puts up her hand."The sky is
definitely blue." "Thats
not bad,Meg," says the teacher, "but the sky can be grey or red."
Young Sally tried :"The
grass is definitely green." "Good try Sally,but grass can be yellow or
Suddenly Little Johnny's hand shoots up."Miss Brown does a fart have
teacher was horrified."No of course not Johnny! What are you talking
about?" So Johnny
says,"Well then Miss brown, I've definitely shit my pants!"
A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-line
dating services. I asked him the other day if he had had any luck and
he said he'd quit -- seems they'd matched him up with his wife.
A big fat housewife is on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen
floor, when she suddenly yells to her husband, "Come here quick, Charlie!
I'm paralyzed! I can't get up!" He comes in, takes a look, and says,
"Stand up, you silly old bat. You're kneeling on one of your tits."
On visting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital, his friend found him
sitting up in the bed, frantically leafing through the bible "What are
you doing?" asked the friend. "Looking for loopholes," repied the lawyer.
When a man takes off his pants in a hotel room,
what's the first thing to hang out?
The DO NOT DISTURB sign!
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