Today's jokes [5.19.08]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
Magnussen goes to a marriage counselor and says, "My wife isn't as much
fun as she used to be."
The marriage counselor says, "Do you still enjoy a roll in the hay?"
Magnussen says, "As much as the next fellow."
The counselor says, "Maybe between you and the next fellow, she's
What do you get when you cross a Rooster with an owl?
A Cock that can stay up all night!!
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist.
The doctor took one look at this woman and all his
professionalism went out the window.
He immediately told her to undress. After she had
disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing
so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions
or dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," said
the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do
you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.
"Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or
breast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual
intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing
"Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came
here in the first place."
Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex
life. One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half
way thru a fence, with its butt facing the tavern. One drunk says he sure
wishes that sheep were Marilyn Monroe. The other says, "I just wish it
The medical student was asked four reasons why mother's
milk was better for babies than cow's milk.
This is the answer he submitted:
1. It's fresher.
2. It's cleaner.
3. The cats can't get to it.
4. It's easier to take on a picnic.
He also added: "It comes in such cute containers."
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31