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Today's jokes [5.18.08]

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The young lady entered the doctor's office carrying an infant. "Doctor," 
she explained, "the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he 
lost three ounces this week." The medic examined the child and then 
started to squeeze the girl's breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, 
removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on one nipple. "Young lady," 
he finally announced, "no wonder the baby is losing weight, you haven't 
any milk!" "Of course not!" she shrieked. "It's not my child, it's my 
sister's!"

1. 




Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie,
each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales
begins.
The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, 
just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men 
before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."
The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking
down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a
rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit
its head off, and sucked the venom down in one gulp. And I'm still here
today."
The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his 
penis.



2. 




How do you know when you have a serious overbite?

When beaver starts tasting like shit. 

3. 




McAteer arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with 
tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was 
already homesick.
"No," replied McAteer. "I've lost all me luggage!" "How'd that happen?" 
"The cork fell out," said the Irishman. 

4. 




What is It?

                    Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. 
                    Maddona does not have one. And a priest does not 
                    use his. What is it?

                    A Last name

5. 



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