Today's jokes [5.15.08]

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Do you know why there aren't any ice cubes in Poland?

The inventor died and took the recipe with him.

This guy and a blonde are making out feverishly in the front seat of
his car. After an hour or so, he whispers in her ear, "Do you want
to move to the back seat?"

She replies, "NO!" Flabbergasted, he says, "Why Not?"

To which she replies, "Well, I want to stay up here with you. It'd
be lonely back there!"

These two women went out for a night on the town and got just totally 
sloshed. At the end of the evening they decided to take a short cut 
through a cow pasture after being unable to find a ride home. They became 
lost so split up to try and find the road home. One of the lushes doubled 
back only to stumble on the other flat on her back sucking on, and playing 
with a cow's udders. Her friend screamed "what are you doing"? the other 
lush says "shut up, with all these guys here someone'll drive us home". 

   A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Listen," he says to the
   bartender. "If i show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, is
   my beer on the house?" "We'll See," says the bartender. So the guy
   pulls out a hamster and a tiny piano out of a bag, puts them on the
   bar,
   and the hamster begins to play. "Impressive," says the bartender, "but
   i'll need to see more." "Hold on," says the man. He then pulls out a
   bullfrog, and it sings "Old Man River." A patron jups up from mhis
   table and shouts "Thats's Absolutely incredible! I'll give you $100
   right now for the frog." "Sold," says the guy. The patron takes the
   bullfrog and leaves. "It's none of my business," says the bartender,
   "but you just gave away a fortune." "Not really," says the guy. "The
   hamster is also a ventriloquist."
   

Waxing eloquent on the sins of the flesh, the dynamic
young preacher raised himself to full height, leaned over
the pulpit and boomed,

"Brothers and sisters, if there are any among you who have
committed adultery, may your tongue cleave to the woof of
your mouf!"

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