Today's stories [4.8.08]

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Before I left army basic training in Louisiana, for my
next duty station in Texas, my drill sergeant asked me:
"Son, you know how to find Texas?"
I said "I'm not sure, drill sergeant."
"Well" he says, "you go west till you smell shit."
"Thats Oklahoma"
"Then you turn south 'til you step in it."
"That's Texas."

It is said that P. T. Barnum, the famed circus magnate, hung a large sign 
over one of the exits of his museum which read, "This way to the egress."  
Many people in the crowds, eager to see what an egress looked like, passed 
through the door and found themselves out on the street.

There once was a conservative college in the mid-west that had 
a standing rule, the heat was not to be turned on in the 
dormitories prior to a certain date. 

Unfortunately, one year, winter decided to rear its ugly head 
early. Students in both the men's and women's dormitories 
complained about the bitter cold, but were told that nothing 
could be done. 

After days of no heat and no respite in immediate sight, the 
ladies realized that their dorm faced the equally cold men's 
dorm. They turned a bed sheet into a banner with the 
message,

"TURN ON THE HEAT OR WE'LL TURN ON THE BOYS!"

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