Today's stories [4.7.08]

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On Campus:
"In a rare lapse of generosity, the NCAA has decided college
athletes can get jobs. This statement was sent via ship-to-shore
cable from the NCAA yacht SS TV Revenue anchored off Monte Carlo." 

"Athletes just can't make it anymore on what alumni give them," says Alan Ray. 

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by
          placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with
          wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was
          placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button
          each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
          Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect
          confessed.

British Columbia, Canada: Police officers on patrol about 1:00 am
spotted 4 men breaking into a vehicle. They gave chase on foot,
catching and arresting two of the men. The other two escaped. A
couple of hours later, two men showed up at the main desk of the
police station, asking when their buddies were going to be released.
They were carrying (and wearing) items which had been stolen from the car. 

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