Today's stories [4.6.08]

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The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness
   reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is
   the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people's
   "206's".... His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of
   curiosity. I would not breed from this Officer. This Officer is really
   not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be. When she
   opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot
   was previously in there. He has carried out each and every one of his
   duties to his entire satisfaction. He would be out of his depth in a
   car park puddle. Technically sound, but socially impossible. This
   Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around
   at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere. This young lady has
   delusions of adequacy. When he joined my ship, this Officer was
   something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably. Since my
   last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig. She
   sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
   them. He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age. In my
   opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
   Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in
   a trap This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. Only
   occasionally wets himself under pressure


  

   True story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
   
   Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
   Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
   Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty
   period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
   Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
   Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
   Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am.
   Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How
   did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
   Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
   promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point the Tech Rep had
   to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been
   using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it
   off the drive.

Police in New Jersey pulled over what they thought was a drunk driver and 
it turned out to be a couple engaging in oral sex. The officers issued a 
stern warning and a high five.

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