Today's stories [4.5.08]

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A whole bunch of us were sitting around my house talking and we 
were trying to remember a guy's name. None of us could remember 
his name at all when all of a sudden my friend yells, "Dick!". 
We said yes that's it. Then she said "Boy, I pulled that one 
out of my ass". No one said anything until I burst out laughing 
and she said "You had to go there didn't you?"

This one lady was telling the judge how her husband was 
abusive to her on several occasions and how fearful she was for 
her life.  She was seeking a restraining order.  The judge 
granted the order.  The bailiff asked if she needed an escort to 
her car, since her husband was in the courtroom with her. She 
said, 'No, he's my ride home.'

   My wife is what's generally known as a "Strawberry Blonde", which is
   of course, half blonde/half redhead. Every once in a while though the
   blonde part gains the upper hand. On a recent trip to New York, there
   was a one of those small info signs on the check-in desk. It said:
   Breakfast 6-10; Lunch 11-3; Dinner 4-11.
   
   She took one look at that and said "How in the world are we gonna do
   any sight-seeing ? We'll be so busy eating, we won't have time for
   anything else."

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