Today's stories [4.28.08]

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Heard over the radio broadcast of a Chicago baseball game. . . 

In the stands here I see a young couple who must be in love -- they're 
kissing on every pitch. He's kissing her on the strikes, and she's 
kissing him on the balls.

So I said to my office mate "Man, your new girlfriend sure is big and 
ugly." 

And he says "So is my dick, but that doesn't stop me from having a good 
time with it."

William B. Singleton, 24, just released from jail in Belton, Mo., on a 
larceny charge, allegedly broke into a vending machine in the lobby of 
the police station and stole a 60-cent Strawberry Twisteroo while he 
waited for his ride to arrive. 

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