Today's stories [4.12.08]

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Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success. He 
decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against General 
Motors. The comparison went like this: If automotive technology
had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you 
would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top 
speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or you could have an economy car that 
weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either 
case the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50. In response to 
all this goading, GM responds: "Yes, but would you really want to drive a 
car that crashes twice a day?

Last month, about 8,000 Elvis Presley fans flocked to 
Graceland to commemorate the 21st anniversary of his death. 
In a related item, viewership on the Home Shopping Network 
was down 50% Saturday. 

The funniest thing I ever did was when I was borrowing my Dads car and I 
had to get gas. My Dad had a bad accident a few years back and he had both
ankles surgically redone. So his car has handicap plates and I guess they
have some rule that you have to give them full service at self serve 
pumps.
The attendent came out and I waved him off without looking up from the
nozzle. He tried to figure out why I had handicap plates so I thought it 
was a good time for a trick.
I went to give him the money and I kept on bumping into things like the 
pump and when I went to give him the money I felt each individual bill and 
did the same when he gave me change. The whole time I spoke to him I 
staired into space( btw I was wearing dark sunglasses) . I walked out of 
the station running into everything and bumping my head when I got into my 
car.
The attendent asked me, "How do you drive."
I replied with, "What do you mean?"
He answered with, "Are'nt you partially blind?"
I ended with "No I am completely blind, I am driving a specially equiped 
car."
I then sped away driving over the curb. In the rear view mirror I saw a 
station attendent with his jaw on the floor.

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