Today's stories [4.10.08]

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A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery,
and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head -- and realized
that he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask. 

On the wall of a church was a sign:
"If you are tired of sin, come to see us!"

And right below it in nice rounded letters;
"But if you're not, my phone number is 341 3451" 

Jack Benny swears that one evening when he was invited to play for the 
President, a guard stopped outside the White House gate and asked, 
"Whatcha got in that case, Mr. Benny?"

Benny answered solemnly, "A machine gun."

With equal solemnity, the guard nodded. "Enter, friend. I was afraid for a 
minute it was your violin!" 

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